How you know a band is crap:

  • They regularly do chord changes for the last chorus
  • At a gig, the lead singer always says “HELLO [name of city]” in a hearty voice
  • Their fast songs are slow
  • Their drums sound like fresh eggs being dropped on a tiled floor
  • They are pretty, look healthy, and are well-groomed
  • They wear designer clothes
  • Their albums are about their “journey” and their godamned love-lives
  • All their songs are quiveringly sincere
  • They interview well on mainstream chat shows
  • They do that fake sob thing to show how deeply they feel stuff
  • They call the person they’ve cheated on “baby”
  • They win music awards
  • They like fashionable causes
  • They end gigs with a massive singalong, like <this lot>

Lydon was right about them:

%d bloggers like this: