New Taig cull programme

“If you look at the passing-out of the latest cohort of solicitors and barristers in Northern Ireland, the vast majority of them have been educated in what we would perceive to be Catholic grammar schools. It doesn’t necessarily follow they are nationalists, but obviously the vast bulk of nationalists are from the Catholic persuasion. It’s important we address that imbalance, because if that imbalance occurred in any other profession, the Equality Commission would be all over it, but because it’s the law it is quietly ignored.”
                                                                                                              – Jim Wells, DUP, 2022

Imagine living in a place where a prominent local politician counts the new lawyers annually. Does he keep a sectarian spreadsheet lol. He tries to work out how many of them are likely to vote in a way he disapproves of, and he thinks it’s “important” that “we address” this “imbalance”.

It’s difficult to know how best to resolve this “freckled voters” problem.  Perhaps, when admitting students, universities should prioritise imputed voting intentions over exam results?

Or maybe they could come up with a vaccine for it?  Or perhaps just triple the fees for anyone West of the Bann?

Or adapt a badger cull programme for the Taigs – a few snipers at the Europa bus station, taking out anyone with a GAA bag, for starters.

On being assured that I wasn’t making this apartheid mentality story up, the most charitable feedback I had from a few overseas lawyer acquaintances was a query whether the said “imbalance” might not be in Jim’s head.  

I said no, thousands vote for him precisely because he thinks like that. It’s the secret of his success.       

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